She stepped on the pedal, Ryan’s school must have left by now. Damn this traffic, she cursed. Making her five year old son wait was not a happy thought. Leslie wondered why she had gone to meet Jake. She could have been returning home with Ryan.
I have a comfortable life; a good husband, a job that pays well, a beautiful child. Why am I not happy then? Most women crave the life I am living. Even I had once prayed for this existence. And now when my prayers are answered, I am changing them. Do not be greedy, she reminded herself. Learn to be satisfied.
She and Jake had lived together while they were in college. She remembered those days, her memories colored with a hint of melancholy. How completely she had believed in their love. And Jake too. They had promised to get married, had thought of a house to buy, and a car too.

It all started with the Secret Seven and the Famous Five. At the tender age of seven, I wanted to solve mysteries, have English muffins (hot and syrupy) with tea, and celebrate Guy Fawkes day. I never got to do any of these. Then, I moved on to the Archies. So, at the age of thirteen, all I wanted was to sing in my band, go out on movie dates and eat hamburgers and banana splits. Well, I did few of these things. Later came the Nancy Drew mysteries. And at fifteen, I wanted my own car and own Ned Nickerson. I did not, naturally, get either. I moved on. This time to Harry Potter. Oh my! I still remember those days. At seventeen, I almost willed myself into being a wizard (Yes, I admit, there I was a bit gender confused). I grew past Harry and Ron and read A Suitable Boy. At eighteen, I fell in love with Kabir and hated Lata for jilting him. Many books read, many fantasies lived, but none lasted longer than couple of days. All was well and normal and boring, until I picked up Twilight. And at twenty, I wanted nothing more than to be a vampire and Mrs Cullen. Its been over an year now, but I still cant get over Edward. Oh, well, for now I can’t find anything more captivating than my beloved vampire love story. If I do, you will be the first to know!

I have read a lot of Ruskin Bonds novels and I have to say that he writes amazingly. I know how difficult it is to describe simple things, simple emotions in a simple way. There is always something that goes wrong. But not with Mr Bond. He knows what he is doing! His writings take me back to the small village I visit in my vacations, also to the places I have never set foot on. Its wonderful to find a place familiar without actually being there. Dehra, now is so close to my heart. The harsh and cold winter, the ordinary villagers with extraordinary simplicity, kindness and humanity. It is a place long forgotten.

long hair falling on his face..eyes the color of skies..brows furrowed in anguish..scars speaking about his past..lips set in fierce determination..a stubbled chin..a haughty nose..a lopsided frown..a compelling picture..draws in my gaze..

the speed of my thoughts make me dizzy..when do i fall i keep wondering..sane or not, right or not, afraid or not..i want to stop, just for a moment. worrying..bang my head on the wall, slit my wrist with a knife, hang myself on the fan..incredibly impotent anger..helpless hopeless heedless..god give me peace..give me grace, put a smile upon my face..

I don’t pray.
I don’t ask for anything from Him. Because I think He already knows what I want. And if He wants me to have it, He will give it to me; if not, then I know there are better things waiting. Going to a temple to seek Him, I don’t believe in that. Because for me, He is everywhere. People try bribing Him into fulfilling their wishes.
How can they not realize that He, is beyond these materialistic things. He looks after you because you are His Child. And like any parent, His love for you is evident, even in His anger.

I have to do the right thing, Laura thought. She had come for a walk by the park, on a whim. It was autumn and the trees were raining leaves on passer-bys. The weather was just the perfect bit chilly, a slight nip in the air. This was her favorite season, the most comfortable. Since so many days she was suffering from guilt and anxiety. She could not believe that her heart was capable of such shamefulness. To think about another man when she was so completely loved by James. She thought her heart might break up with remorse. They were seeing each other since four years. All those beautiful moments. She thought she had found her share of heaven. Everything was going as well as it could. And then she met Daniel. Almost immediately she understood the meaning of love on first sight. She took up every chance she had of being around him. She was ashamed that she was not even trying to stay away from him. She could not bear to let James touch her now. She wondered about this emotion, how could it be so feeble. Four years of love blew away in the air. All she wanted now was to be with Daniel, with such urgency and desperation that she felt she would suffocate without him. Whatever this was, it was powerfully intense. Today she decided to confess to James. Break this news on him, but gently. He had to know he was loving someone who loved not him,

I wish I had never met James, she mused. Or I had met Daniel before. But is this love that is happening now? What I believed to be true love all this while was nothing but an illusion. How am I to be sure that this emotion of wanting is love? What if a couple of years from now I meet someone else and realize that there is yet a stronger love present. Why is it so complex…

What is better? To be ecstatic mostly and depressed sometimes or to be in a general state of emotional averageness?

When your emotions are not swinging between the extremes, but move at a medium pace. Here, you will never know how it feels when something happens and your heart lits up and dazzles your soul, and you are euphoric beyond belief. Seems like a pity, not letting this happen to you. But then, you will never know this too¬– How when you are so sad you want to curl up and die, and it feels like your heart is burning at the slowest possible mode, and your life is being ripped apart with bloodied hands. Now this you would not mind missing.

Not knowing how, I have chosen the extremes. I am blessed by the Gods and cursed by them.

As soon as I reached the class I saw Kabir get up from his seat and come towards me. His eyes were red and swollen. Could he be drunk, I thought. We were still not talking! Watching him charge at me, like a bull in a rodeo, made me a bit nervous and I looked around desperate for some help. Someone tapped my arm. I turned around. It was Harish. I thanked my lucky stars, as I noticed Kabir walking the other way now. Harish and Kabir were never ever on talking terms. “Hello beautiful! You look positively delightful.” Harish murmured in my ears. I blushed little and gave him my most charming smile. He linked my arms in his and we sat together for another boring physics lecture. I tried to not look back to where Kabir sat, but somehow I could feel his eyes on me and that was not helping. Harish cracked a joke at which no one laughed and I wondered where I had gone wrong. As soon as the lecture got over I ran over to the bathroom, had to make my hair proper! This time Kabir caught my arm and pulled me in an empty classroom. “What’s your problem dude?” I yelled angrily. But he did not say anything. Just pulled me to him and looked deep in my eyes. My heart was pounding like crazy and I knew no one could make me feel so lost yet so wonderful. His angry face was suddenly full of warmth and his eyes were showering me with affection.
I tried to look away; this boy was too much for me, but he held on. Without breaking his gaze, he whispered “You know I like you so much and I know you have something for me too then why the hell do you keep running away?” “I don’t like you’ I replied, my gaze flickered between his mesmerizing eyes and moistened lips. “Why do you lie?” he asked looking perplexed. Now my heart was melting in my mouth! He was so damn handsome.
I struggled to break free from his hold and before I could go on with it, he left me! I looked at him quite puzzled. “It is still your choice baby. Either walk into my arms or walk out of this room.” He answered, leaning on the wall, looking uber cool.
I had made my decision long before he had finished talking. Well, I did like him! I smiled out my acceptance and within seconds I was in his arms. Finally, after so much fighting, arguing, and bickering we started on our quest of love.

It wasn't a dark and stormy night. Quite the opposite actually.
The moon shone silver on the world below. And the gods looked on with wondered eyes.
How could nature still beckon with her calm beauty when the war below raged on so cruelly? Showing perhaps that not everything can be destroyed, yet.
That it was still a matter of choice, between the good and the bad.
That if you tried hard enough you could save yourself from the evil around, and not fall prey to it.

These people, not one without a weapon in his hands, undoing the creator’s work.
A story gone horribly wrong. Homes left empty and streets deserted.
Since when were riots the solution to all communal problems. Maybe we are not civilized enough to go any other way. If only there were some peace in our minds.
If we could stop and think and realize eventually that nothing is above a living soul.

All these while I wondered what could have caused this emptiness. What could be stopping me from writing? I think I have found the answer. I need complications to make my creative juices flow. A serene and peaceful life will be the end of my talent. So what do I pray for now?

Its such a revelation when you realize that the total belief in your abilities was nothing but an illusion arising from the total lack of experience.