At random moments,
I think of you,
Once, when I was passing by in the train,
Once, when I heard Kashmir,
Once, when I read my horoscope compatibility
Once, when I took a walk by myself at eleven in the noon.
And so many I can’t just recollect right now.
And at those times, only at those times, I want to turn back time.
And live my memories once more, before life is done.

(We came to know each other a lifetimes worth in a few days. Then why do we cry when its time to part. We could be together, but it would just degrade, our love.)

Whats wrong with this world
What am I looking for
Why are people so different from me
Why was I made this way then
Why am I so restless
When will I learn to be mediocre and talk shit like people around do
When will I know my purpose in life
When will I be what I want to be
When will I learn to love myself
Why am I giving up before trying
Why am I fighting myself
Even when I know deep down that I want to be this way
When will it stop

My head is throbbing with pain but I cannot take a break. The pain is so very real. I can feel every part of my brain bursting with it. But I plug in my headphones and make it worse, increase the volume and get dizzy with the noise mixing with my ache. The drums roll and it gets hard to type. My fingers tremble with the hurt and I feel my entire existence sting. I wish I knew why I find this a better way to lighten up. Instead of popping a pill and putting it to rest, I make everything hurt and lose myself.