My head is throbbing with pain but I cannot take a break. The pain is so very real. I can feel every part of my brain bursting with it. But I plug in my headphones and make it worse, increase the volume and get dizzy with the noise mixing with my ache. The drums roll and it gets hard to type. My fingers tremble with the hurt and I feel my entire existence sting. I wish I knew why I find this a better way to lighten up. Instead of popping a pill and putting it to rest, I make everything hurt and lose myself.